


Catboy Seeks Same?

by gala_apples



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, Catboys & Catgirls, Conversations, Horses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-25
Updated: 2012-06-25
Packaged: 2017-11-08 12:45:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/443338
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gala_apples/pseuds/gala_apples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mikey just wants to get laid, how is that so hard?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Catboy Seeks Same?

Mikey scrolls his eyes down the tiny squares of ads for what seems like the hundredth time. It’s completely depressing how few of them are plausible for him. He just wants to get laid, how can that be so difficult?

“Looking for a catboy seeks same again?” Pete asks.

Mikey’s ears twitch slightly in annoyance. He’s had this conversation with Pete about a hundred times and it never changes. He’s pretty sure that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing multiple times and expecting different results.

“It’s easier for you, prick. You’ve got a whole community.” There’s an entire chapter of Horses of America in Jersey.

“It’s easier for me because I don’t care if they’re part of my community. You need to branch out.” Pete nudges the coffee table away from the couch and settles on the floor beside him. Normally the style and position would make Mikey retract his claws and give Pete a good pet, Mikey grew up in a touchy family and he can’t imagine not touching his friends. But right now he’s pissed at him. Pete should be giving him sympathy for the impossibility of getting laid, not telling him things that aren’t options are.

“I don’t want to.”

“I seriously don’t get you. You’re not one of those LWL assholes, I know you’re not. So how can you refuse to even think about it?”

“If this is about you wanting me to fuck you-”

“Fuck you! I’m trying to help you, motherfucker!” If Pete was full-style his ears would be flat against his head and he’d be trying to bite Mikey’s fingers off. As half and half style Pete’s just glaring, arms crossed like he’s trying to stop himself from hitting Mikey.

This is exactly why Mikey hates this conversation. Because it always changes from Pete telling him to try anyone he wants to bringing up memories of the fucking Like With Likers. He hates them, and he wishes they would all die in a fire. For almost two years Gerard was corrupted by his stupid bigot boyfriend Bert and all Bert’s friends into believing that only those of the same species should acknowledge each other. Gerard could never fully commit, he loved the rest of his family too much to ignore them just because they weren’t dogs. But it had taken him a long time to get out of that disgusting mindset. Mikey’ll never be LWL, and he doesn’t plan on ever talking to an LWLer again.

The simple fact is he wants to hook up with another catboy because depending on how style they are, there are a lot of benefits. A tail curled around a human dick is fucking amazing, Mikey could come for hours. He’s heard Joe claim that monkeys are even better, but Mikey doesn’t agree. A monkey tail might be more prehensile, but it wouldn’t be as silky and luxurious. Mikey doesn’t ever go with a cat dick, of course. There is nothing about spiked dick and asshole that should go together. On the other hand, a blow from a styled mouth is among the best things Mikey’s ever felt in his life. The papille that cover a cat's tongue give a bit of a bite to a blowjob.

Unfortunately, there are only so many catboys in Jersey, and only so many of those are gay or bisexual. Which means that Pete is probably right. Which is even more unfortunate because the second he admits it, Pete will gloat for hours.

“Okay, fine. What species would you recommend?”

“Seriously? We’ve been having this argument since we moved in together and you just change your mind today? Four years, and all it took was me calling you a motherfucker? If I’da known, I would’a called you that years ago.”

“Shut up, and just tell me what you think.” Technically contradictory terms, but Pete’s not Frank, he won’t call him on it.

“Well, I know you’re a size queen-”

Mikey doesn’t tend to use style defenses when he gets into a fight. Most people don’t. He could take someone’s eye out, Brian could trample someone, Donna could poison someone. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t have the urge to quickly pop out some claws and scrape a line down Pete’s chestnut back. Instead he lets his ears twitch and says coolly “shut up Pete.”

“Right, because I’ve never been in your bedroom in four years, I have no idea what your sex toys look like. If you don’t want people to know, don’t fall asleep with them right beside you when you need someone to wake you up in the mornings because you’ve slept through three alarms, you lazy fucker!” Pete knocks his forehead against Mikey’s knee and Mikey grabs a throw pillow from the other end of the couch and beats him in the head with it for a few minutes. Pete styles back to fully human and drags him off the couch by his shin and they wrestle until they’re both panting, both laughing.

“Now that we’re done being ten-”

“I’m never done, noogie time yet?”

“Pete, if you’re ten you can’t have orgasms.” Mikey watches Pete shut his mouth and feels incredibly satisfied. “Now that we’re done, what of the many many many _many_ ” Mikey gets punched in the side but ignores it, “species would you recommend I go for.”

“Like I was trying to tell you, Mr I’m Not A Size Queen Except For How I Totally Am, horseboys are pretty awesome.” Pete doesn’t say it like he wants Mikey to crawl into bed with him, but sometimes Mikey wonders. Pete’s had sex with basically all his friends, the lesbians and Mikey being the hold outs. It’s sort of weird being the only male in the room that hasn’t seen Pete hard. And if he’s hard pressed, he can also admit inside his own brain that he wonders what Pete might be like. He’s never had sex with a friend, with anyone he knows and has to talk to afterward. Mikey does one night stands, or repeated hookups with Daniel and Warren, a calico and a siamese that like the same thing as he does, walking in the room, taking your pants off, coming and leaving the house.

“If that doesn’t get your panties wet, you could try donkey, or bear. Or wait, don’t you have an elephant friend?”

“I am not having sex with Brian.” No. Just no. Also Mikey thinks he’s probably straight.

“I dunno, tigers are pretty good. Or you could always go the other way and find some octopus guy to blow your mind.”

“What?”

“Well, I mean, you don’t want to try to fuck them when they’re full-style. They have detachable dicks, it would scar you for life. But when it’s half and half, or you know, whatever, the things they can do with a tentacle. Fuck, you can’t even imagine, Mikey.”

Mikey, who understands the pain of not being able to use his style dick thinks he could probably handle someone else’s. Pete’s just a sissy, and lucky for having a massive but normal cock. But he could be down for tentacles giving him a handjob. “Yeah?”

“Shit, really? Awesome, you won’t regret it. I’ve got this friend, his name is Gabe. I bet he’d be up for it tonight. Unless he’s DJing. I’ll text him.”

Mikey smiles as Pete goes back to half and half to retrieve his cell. Welcome to his new life. He’s got a feeling things are going to work out nicely.


End file.
